


Tooru Oikawa Assay

by Kyrie_xo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24766090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyrie_xo/pseuds/Kyrie_xo
Summary: We deep dive into one of the world’s greatest mysteries
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Tooru Oikawa Assay

In the manga, Haikyuu, and it’s anime adaptation, a sad fact that the entire fandom knows is that Aoba Johsai 3rd year Tooru Oikawa has no posterior. It crushes the fandom every day that the Great King is also the Flat King. In this essay, I will be covering several theories as to why Tooru Oikawa has no cake.

Theory number one is just simply that he was born without ass. Just as Izuku Midoriya in My Hero Academia was born without a quirk, some people are born without butts. It’s almost as rare as being quirkless, but not quite. This theory however, in my opinion, is shit.

The second theory is that Fukurodani 3rd year Koutaro Bokuto stole it all. This theory is a little more fun. Bokuto has all the cake, this is a fact. Home Skillet has more cake than an entire bakery so logically, he could have snatched some ass from young Oikawa.

The third theory is quite popular amongst the fandom, it is that Hajime Iwaizumi slapped his badonkadonk so hard that it ceased to exist. Now, we all know our Iwa-chan would be into ass slapping, so it is very believable that his sexy bara arms could have slapped it out of existence.

Now, before you loyal fans get all cheesed, I will make note that professional crackhead Satori Tendou does in fact have a flatter ass. While Oikawa’s ass is pancake,Tendou’s ass is concave. Poor lad’s ass is so flat, it gave up on itself. 

There can be many more reasons that Tooru Oikawa has a flat ass. Maybe it was stolen by pirates, maybe it was used in ancient medicine. Maybe the fat was used to light a fire, or maybe it was abducted by aliens. The world may never know why that man has no booty, but we do know he’s still beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi hope you liked my dumb thingy :)


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